Before we begin, Babymalfoy told me to tell you not to fuck with her or she will “sewiouswy ef yow sit up.” She also told me to inform you that she’s now a licensed woogie dealer and has some “weawy gweat deaws wight now.”
Impewio!
Awight, now dat you awe compwewy undew my contwow, you wiw do evewyfing I tew you. I need you to do de fowing fings: (1) go get my woogie, (2) bwing de woogie to me, (3) hand me de woogie, (4) watch me whiwe I pway wif de woogie and wuv de woogie, (5) go put de woogie away when I am fwough wif it.
Cuwses, dewe must be somefing wong wif dis fing. Incendio!…Wictusempwa!…PETWIFICUS TOTAWUS!…Just go get my fweaking woogie, wouldja?
(A voice screams, “Expelliarmus!”). Nooooooooo! Soulda seen dat one coming…Nice one, Pottew.
Accio! (Wand flies back into Babymalfoy’s hands). Now, whewe wewe we? Oh, wight, my woogie. Go…get…my…WOOGIE!
Cwapbag, dis fing isn’t woking…Maybe I can use it like one of dose bang bang masines dat peopwe soot at each odew like in dose waws on de TV. (Babymalfoy points the wand at her nemesis, but all it does is shoot blanks that sound like bubbles popping). Dis is cweawy not woking…
Come in wand, come in. Babymawfoy to wand…Dat’s a bad wand! Can I pwease have my woogie now?
I’ll get a new wand at de wand stowe and when I do, Pottew, you sould be scawed. Be vewy, vewy scawed.
Tune in next time for another riveting episode of The Babymalfoy Chronicles.